By Ding Ling, China
On the afternoon of September 29, 2014, the heavens were overcast and a strong wind was blowing at intervals. It seemed there was a threat of rain. My husband was afraid that our son would be caught in the rain on his way home from school, so he drove a big three-wheeler covered with an awning to the school to pick him up. After about forty minutes, I heard a sharp rap on the door, and my husband’s voice rang out. On opening the door, I saw my husband but not our son. So I asked, “Didn’t you go to pick Xinxin up? Where is he?” He was agitated, and panted, “He’s at my mother’s house right now. He fell from the three-wheeler and injured his head. Go and see him.” Hearing this, I felt very anxious. “How could he fall from your three-wheeler? Why were you so careless? How badly is he injured? Why didn’t you take him to the clinic get his cuts cleaned?” I demanded. As he was hunting for his bank card, he said, “He is too mischievous. You know he often plays tricks on people. Half a kilometer away from home, he jumped off the three-wheeler when it was moving. He thought I’d be surprised when I arrived home without him. But he lost his balance because of the inertia, and fell over on his back and suffered an injury to his head. He had a pretty nasty fall. We need to take him to the county hospital for an examination right now.” On hearing that, it felt like a thunderbolt from the clear, blue sky had struck me, and I realized that his injury was far more serious than getting some scratches on the head, which was what I had thought. Without thinking further, I hurried to my mother-in-law’s house.
On arriving there, I saw Xinxin nestled up to his grandma with his eyes tightly closed. He was crying and yelling, “I have a headache. I have a splitting headache. …” Seeing his pained look, I asked him right away, “Xinxin, in what part of your head do you feel pain? Tell mom and let me have a look.” Then he pointed to the back of his head, eyes closed, and said to me, “Here. It hurts right here.” I touched where he pointed, feeling there was a cup-sized dent at the back of his head, and it was soft in the middle of the dent. At that moment, I thought of what my parents had often said, “If you fall, you must first protect your head, especially the back of the head. If you receive a head injury, you may get concussion. A hard knock may leave you paralyzed, and you won’t be able to take care of yourself ever again; in severe cases, the injury could be fatal.” Being always timid, when I saw my crying boy I was terrified that he was close to dying. When I saw his clenched hands, I prized his fingers apart, but he clenched his fists again. Seeing his pained expression, I felt frightened and sad, fearing that he would lose his life. In my panic, I thought of God. He rules over and controls all things, so wasn’t my son’s fate also in God’s hands? Then I thought of God’s words, which said, “Man’s heart and spirit are held in the hand of God, everything of his life is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, whether living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear in accordance with God’s thoughts. Such is the way in which God presides over all things.” God’s words gave me faith, and made me recognize that all people, events, and things in the heavens and on earth live by arrangements masterminded by God. Though my son had a severe injury to his head, his life was still in the hands of God. Then my anxious and uneasy heart calmed down little by little because of the guidance of God’s words.
Later, I took my son from my mother-in-law’s embrace and fell to the ground, praying to God, “O God! I am willing to entrust my son to Your hands. He has sustained a head injury and is in agony. O God! Please give me confidence and courage so that I won’t feel nervous and afraid. No matter what happens, may You protect me from complaining against You so that I can obey Your orchestrations and arrangements.” After the prayer, I carried my son in my arms to the hospital, accompanied by my family. Shortly after we set off, my son, who had been wailing, calmed down suddenly, and shook his head now and then, saying, “Mom, my headache has gone. I really can’t feel any pain.” After hearing what he said, I thanked God unceasingly in my heart. I felt that God had empathized with my weakness and immature status. Though I was weak at that time, I was allowed to witness one of God’s wondrous deeds and His love. On the way to the county hospital, Uncle Song, the driver, constantly told us how serious head injuries can be, and reminded us now and then, “If Xinxin vomits or falls into a coma, and he is refused admission to the county hospital or the doctors there are not able to treat his injury, you should transfer him to the People’s Hospital in the city as soon as possible. That hospital is well-equipped and has good facilities, and the doctors also have clinical experience of treating head trauma. You should take this seriously and avoid delaying his treatment. Delayed treatment will endanger his life.” Hearing this, my quiet heart was disturbed and I became nervous again. I saw my son was half asleep in my mother-in-law’s arms, and I thought: “If something happens to Xinxin, how could I continue living? When I thought about this, my heart started racing, my forehead kept sweating, and my hands trembled involuntarily. Then I prayed to God repeatedly in my heart, “O God! All things and events are in Your hands. Whether my child lives or dies is in Your hands. May You protect me so that my heart can be at peace in Your presence.” After I prayed many times, my uneasy heart calmed down finally.
It was past seven in the evening when we arrived at the county People’s Hospital. When we were in the foyer of the first floor of the hospital I looked at my son in his grandma’s arms. He was pale, glassy-eyed, his eyes were rolling back and his arms were drooping. Moreover, food kept dropping from his mouth. As his grandma walked, his head wiggled with her steps. “Xinxin, wake up. Can you hear me?” I called to him constantly from the side. But no matter how I called to him, he made no response; he was completely comatose. I had a few anxious moments, feeling that death was drawing near to my son and he was probably in danger of losing his life at any time. In great mental agony, I continually thought of the scenes of my son acting like a spoiled child, laughing and playing merrily. What Uncle Song said on our way to the hospital, and my parents’ warning, came into my mind as well. I felt panicked and at a loss deep inside. My whole body felt limp and weak, and I was on the verge of collapse. So I shouted to my mother-in-law and my husband anxiously, “Xinxin is vomiting. Please go to the doctor quickly. I can’t move. Leave me behind.” After they left, I tottered and forced open the door of a passageway, where there was a glimmer of light. Then I fell to the ground. When I thought that my son, whom I had raised for seven years, might separate from me forever that night the agonizing torment suddenly made me barely able to breathe and I broke down in tears. At that moment, when I was most distressed and weak, I prayed to God, “O God! When I see my son hovering between life and death, I get very distressed, weak and fearful. I almost don’t have enough strength to walk. O God! Please guide me, so that my spirit will be strong and I can overcome the fear in my heart. May You help me dispel my fears and push the timid and fearful thoughts out of my mind.”
After praying, I thought of God’s words, “Everything, from the surrounding environment to people, affairs, and things, all exist by permission of His throne. Do not on any account let grievances arise in your heart, or God will not bestow His grace upon you. ” God’s words enlightened me in time and helped me understand that God is possessed of supreme authority and rules our life. If God didn’t let Xinxin die, he wouldn’t die, so it didn’t depend on what other people said. Hence, I shouldn’t lose faith in God or complain against God because doing so was being taken in by Satan’s trickery and rebelling against God, and being ensnared by Satan’s testing. Thinking of this, I fell down before God and prayed to Him, “O God, because of my weakness and lack of faith in You, I have no confidence in Your almightiness and sovereignty. O God! May You enlighten and illuminate me, so that I can live by the truth and no longer be fooled, afflicted or bound by Satan. May You give me confidence and strength to allow me to face up to the present situation and to accept Your sovereignty and arrangements with a submissive heart.”
After praying, I thought of Abraham. He got a son, Isaac, at the age of one hundred, and brought him up. He loved and cherished him very much, but when God asked him to offer his beloved son Isaac as a burnt offering, he didn’t ask the reason why but chose to withstand the torment and give up his son to satisfy God. I also thought of Job. When he was faced with God’s trials, Satan tempted him so that he lost all his property and possessions overnight. Though his possessions were plundered and his children were crushed to death, Job didn’t sin through his words, but instead, he prayed to God silently in his heart to seek God’s will. In the end, he said, “Jehovah gave, and Jehovah has taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah” (Job 1:21). He overcame Satan’s temptations and stood testimony for God. And weren’t all the things that had befallen me within God’s grasp? Although my faith and obedience toward God couldn’t be compared with that of Job’s or Abraham’s, I couldn’t lose faith in God, much less could I generate misunderstandings or complaints about God. Though I gave birth to my son, his breath was given by God and his life was bestowed by God. I thought: “When my son enjoyed the blessings of God and was healthy, I said ‘Thank You, God! This is Your protection.’ But now my son has had an accident, I resist and get sad and am afraid to face the facts.” From this, I realized that my faith in God was based on enjoying His blessings and grace, and that I had no understanding or fear of God, nor had any obedience to His orchestrations and arrangements. This indeed revealed that I hadn’t the sense that a creature of God should have. But with the guidance of God’s words, I understood His will, and didn’t feel panic or uneasy anymore. Instead, I felt at peace and steady deep inside, and had more energy. Then I prayed again, “O God! I would like to entrust my son to You. Whether he lives or dies, I’m willing to boldly face the reality. I’m willing to stand testimony for You!”
After praying, I went to find my family. When I found them, my husband had already registered Xinxin for emergency treatment, and he had had a CT scan of his head. Led by a nurse, we went to the brain surgery department on the ninth floor. After emergency treatment, my son finally woke up from his coma. His face registered panic, and he said repeatedly, “Mom, it’s dark in this room. It’s so dark. Why don’t you turn on the light? I really feel scared.” Since the light was on, I realized that he had become blind. I took his hand, and said in a soothing tone, “Don’t be afraid, Xinxin. It’s OK, mom is here.” Because I had experienced the guidance of God’s words, when finding out that he had lost his sight I was not as panicky and uneasy as I was in the beginning. In fact, I felt quite calm. I believed whatever was to happen was in God’s hands, and I was willing to obey God’s orchestrations and arrangements. Later, I saw that Xinxin’s doctor and my husband were talking, and that my husband took a pen from the doctor and signed something with an expression of unease on his face. I wanted to know what was going on, but because my boy kept crying I had to stay by his side.
In the dead of night, my boy woke in a startled way every now and then. He cried and wanted to pull off the tubes and wires that were connected to medical equipment; sometimes he said faintly, “I have a headache and feel miserable. I don’t wanna stay here. I wanna go home. …” When I saw him groaning in pain, tears blurred my vision. At that moment, I couldn’t help but think: “Life is so fragile and insignificant. My son is right here, but I can do nothing for him. Today, if not for God’s protection, and confidence and strength that God’s words gave me, I would surely have been powerless to endure these things.” From my experience, I saw only God was my true redemption and the one thing I could rely on. The only thing I could do was not to lose faith in God, obey His control and arrangements, and entrust everything to Him.
The next morning, as the sun was rising, I witnessed the wondrous deeds of God: My son could see when he woke up, and moreover, he kept on saying that he was hungry and wanted something to eat. At about eight o’clock, when the attending doctor did his rounds of the wards, he said to us, “Your son was brought here in time. His condition began to stabilize last night, so there is no need to perform an operation. He still needs to receive some treatment for a while and then stay here for observation.” After the doctor left, I learned from my husband that he signed the operation consent form yesterday without telling me. If an emergency had arisen, an operation would have been performed on Xinxin. My mother-in-law said, “When we saw Xinxin vomit yesterday, we took him to the CT scan room. He was put on a bed, and his face was pale, completely bloodless, as if he was dying. His dad walked out of the CT scan room and was petrified with terror, fearing that Xinxin would lose his life before being rescued. He did not recover his wits until the doctor urged him to quickly take Xinxin to the ninth floor. …” After hearing all this, I felt greatly moved. We didn’t know first aid, didn’t call 120 to get an ambulance in time, and so wasted much time. Xinxin suffered a really severe injury to his head, but had now turned the corner and had narrowly escaped death, and didn’t even need to undergo an operation. This was really God’s protection and care for him. I saw God’s omnipotence and authority, and could not help but praise and thank God silently. At that moment, I thought of God’s words, “God’s life force can prevail over any power; moreover, it exceeds any power. His life is eternal, His power extraordinary, and His life force cannot be overwhelmed by any created being or enemy force.” I truly experienced that the authority and might of the words of God were so extraordinary, and that each and every word had the power of God’s life. My son was just like a dying person when we arrived at the hospital. Though he awoke afterward, he lost his sight and suffered pain and cried for most of the night. However, he recovered his sight the next morning and his condition also began to stabilize. It was God’s miraculous protection that had helped him escape with his life.
At noon on the following day, my son could eat something. And he lay on the bed quietly and received treatment. After seeing this, the patients in the same ward were very surprised and said, “It is really inconceivable! Your son had a serious illness when he came, but now it seems that nothing has happened to him. You are so lucky.” I smiled and said, “Right!” But I knew that it was God’s care and protection of him.
At six or seven o’clock in the evening, a nine-year-old boy named Haohao came to the ward which my son was in. When playing with the kids his own age, Haohao was pushed by one of them and hit his head accidently. From the outside, there was nothing wrong with him and he wasn’t bleeding. However, after an examination, the doctor said to his parents, “You didn’t bring him here in time. He has a cerebral hemorrhage, so he needs to have surgery right now.” After a six-hour operation, Haohao was wheeled out of the surgery. He looked like he was in much pain, and was attached to the same machines used for my son. At night, his irregular breathing mixed with the noise of machines was awful for us all to witness. A few days later, a young man of 25, who had fallen from a building and hurt the back of his head, was admitted. He died after all emergency measures failed. His mother, holding one of her son’s shoes left behind the door, could only watch him from behind glass and wailed heartrendingly. In the next ward, there was a beautiful girl, who was 18. She had tumbled downstairs accidently and hurt her head. She ended up completely paralyzed and became a vegetable. She relied on a ventilator, bottled oxygen and injections to stay alive every day. However, her parents still maintained hope, and were unwilling to give up. They watched over her, hoping that one day their daughter could wake up.
Seeing all this, I was instantly reminded of God’s words, “On earth, all manner of evil spirits are forever on the prowl for a place to rest, and are endlessly searching for human corpses that can be consumed. My people! You must remain within My care and protection. Never be dissolute! Never behave recklessly!” What these words revealed was the situation where we were at present. I witnessed with my own eyes all kinds of people suffering varying degrees of harm from Satan—the tortures of illnesses that left them groaning in pain and helplessness. I thought about myself: I believed in God but didn’t pursue the truth, and had no knowledge of God. I was weak and panicky when I found out my son had fallen and hurt the back of his head, which revealed my little faith in God. I saw that I had not one iota of true faith in God, and had no real experience of His supreme authority and sovereignty. Nevertheless, God protected my son and me, which left me feeling ashamed. At the same time, the experience of my son’s accident made me truly sense the reality of God’s words and gain a little knowledge and experience of God’s unique authority. I thanked God a lot.
Twenty days later, my son was better and was discharged from the hospital. Looking back on what had happened in front of my eyes, I shed grateful tears. I thought of when my son fell and hurt his head, and how I’d lived in fear and was at a loss. However, God’s words provided me with faith and strength, which made me strong in my spirit. It was God’s love that accompanied me through the darkest and the most painful night of my life. In my pain and helplessness, I learned to rely on God and obey His sovereignty and arrangements. Thus, I gained some knowledge of God’s authority, saw His wondrous deeds, and sensed His care and protection for us. I am willing to pursue the truth hard, perform my duty well as a creation of God, rely on God with a true heart and follow Him to walk my future path. Thank God for His guidance! May all the glory be to God!
