By Qiyuan, United States
Under the Guidance of God’s Word, I Understood God’s Good Will
Later, I saw that it is said in God’s word: “So many believe in Me only that I might heal them. So many believe in Me only that I might use My powers to drive unclean spirits out from their bodies, and so many believe in Me simply that they might receive peace and joy from Me. So many believe in Me only to demand from Me greater material wealth. So many believe in Me just to spend this life in peace and to be safe and sound in the world to come. So many believe in Me to avoid the suffering of hell and to receive the blessings of heaven. So many believe in Me only for temporary comfort, yet do not seek to gain anything in the world to come. When I brought down My fury upon man and seized all the joy and peace he once possessed, man became doubtful. When I gave unto man the suffering of hell and reclaimed the blessings of heaven, man’s shame turned into anger. When man asked Me to heal him, I paid him no heed and felt abhorrence toward him; man departed from Me to instead seek the way of evil medicine and sorcery. When I took away all that man had demanded from Me, everyone disappeared without a trace. Thus, I say that man has faith in Me because I give too much grace, and there is far too much to gain.” “In this, we discover a previously unidentified problem: Man’s relationship with God is merely one of naked self-interest. It is a relationship between a receiver and a giver of blessings. To put it plainly, it is akin to the relationship between employee and employer. The employee works only to receive the rewards bestowed by the employer. There is no affection in such a relationship, only transaction. There is no loving or being loved, only charity and mercy. There is no understanding, only suppressed indignation and deception. There is no intimacy, only an uncrossable chasm.”
God’s words of judgment tugged on the strings of my heart. Comparing myself with God’s words, I realized my incorrect perspective of faith. In the face of the fact, I saw that my belief in God was only to gain peace, joy and blessings, and to avoid suffering pain in disaster. I regarded God as my lifeline, as the One who could bless me. When God satisfied my own desires, healed my illness and allowed me to enjoy His grace, I was willing to zealously sacrifice for Him; however, when He didn’t bestow grace and blessings upon me, I would become negative, complain and misunderstand God’s intentions. I recalled in the past, although studying in school, I was willing to do my best to perform my duty. When the hours of attending classes and doing my duty conflicted, I would choose to put my duty first. That was because I thought studying well could only make me have temporary material comforts in the future, yet after doing my duty well, I could enjoy eternal blessings. A good job couldn’t compare with obtaining the eternal blessings in the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, I must perform my duty. However, since I learned of the results of my blood test, first of all I thought of my destiny, worrying whether my disease could be cured. Seeing this disease probably endangered my life, I wondered whether or not God didn’t want me and whether or not He was going to expose and eliminate me. Especially when I saw that my brothers and sisters didn’t get this disease, I started to complain that God was kind to others but not to me, and thought that God was not fair. Looking back on my behavior, I saw that what God’s words revealed was too right. Ever since I believed in God, from the outside I had always been waving the flag of performing my duty, but in reality I wanted to make God satisfy my desires. And I worked hard to perform my duty in exchange for God’s rewards and blessings. Isn’t this making a deal with God? Isn’t this defrauding and using God? God is holy and righteous, so how could He allow me to enter His kingdom who had an intention to obtain blessings and always deceived Him? I understood that on the outside what I encountered was illness, but God’s intention was to reveal and reverse my wrong perspective of faith, and call me back from the wrong path. Behind my disease lay God’s true love of me. At this time, I no longer felt sad and upset because of my disease. Instead, I was grateful to God for His revelation and salvation.
Regardless of Blessings or Misfortune, Worshiping God Is Right and Proper
Afterward, I read in the word of God, “Job did not talk of trades with God, and made no requests or demands of God. His praising of God’s name was because of the great power and authority of God in ruling all things, and it was not dependent on whether he gained blessings or was struck by disaster. He believed that regardless of whether God blesses people or brings disaster upon them, God’s power and authority will not change, and thus, regardless of a person’s circumstances, God’s name should be praised. That man is blessed by God is because of God’s sovereignty, and when disaster befalls man, so, too, it is because of God’s sovereignty. God’s power and authority rule over and arrange everything about man; the vagaries of man’s fortune are the manifestation of God’s power and authority, and regardless of one’s viewpoint, God’s name should be praised. This is what Job experienced and came to know during the years of his life.” “This heart awaited God’s command always, and in all places, and no matter what the time or place it welcomed whatever befell him. Job made no demands of God. What he demanded of himself was to wait for, accept, face, and obey all of the arrangements that came from God; Job believed this to be his duty, and it was precisely what was wanted by God. … That is because he did not look at whether God would bless him or bring disaster upon him, because he knew that everything is controlled by the hand of God, and that for man to worry is a sign of foolishness, ignorance, and irrationality, of doubt toward the fact of God’s sovereignty over all things, and of not fearing God.”
From God’s words, I saw that in Job’s heart he believed the heavens and earth, all things and man’s everything all come from God, that no matter whether we are rewarded or deprived and whether we obtain blessings or are cursed, God’s identity and status will never change, and that it is right and proper for a creature to believe in God and worship God. When his property was stolen, his children lost their lives, and he was covered in sore boils, although not knowing why these things befell him, he still stood in the place of a creature and obeyed God’s rule and arrangements, without any complaints or demands toward God. This was a representation of Job’s rationality. God is the Creator, and I am just an insignificant creature. My life and my everything came from God, so it was natural for me to believe in God and worship God. I should stand as a creature and perform my duty well to satisfy God, just as children should be dutiful to their parents. I was deeply corrupted by Satan and was not fit to come before God. Yet God didn’t turn His back on me. He chose me to come to His presence, and allowed me to have the chance to accept the judgment and chastisement of God’s word and pursue salvation. How was I qualified to make demands or requests of Him? I was too irrational! Thank the guidance of God’s words that turned my incorrect perspective of faith around. I was willing to give up my intention of gaining blessings, stand in my place and be a conscientious and rational creature. No matter to what extent my disease would develop in the future, I was willing to obey God’s sovereignty. So long as God allowed me to live, I would worship Him and stand witness to satisfy His will.
My Health Got Much Better and I Tasted God’s Great Grace
About one month later, I went to the hospital for a check-up. On the way to the hospital, although I still was a little nervous, I was no longer willing to make any extravagant demands of God. I kept praying to God and pondering His words. Thus, I felt bright in my heart and also felt relaxed when riding my bicycle. After the results of my blood test was out, the doctor actually said to me, “Congratulations! Your last month’s test results showed that there were 1.7 billion viruses in every milliliter of your blood, but now there are only 560 thousand viruses. The infectiousness is very low. In one short month, it’s good to achieve such a result.” After hearing this news, my heart was full of gratitude to God. When I no longer suspected and misunderstood God because of my sickness, God then showed His mercy to me and allowed me to understand His will. I truly experienced that the purpose of God permitting the disease to befall me was not to reveal and eliminate me, but to cleanse and transform my satanic nature, and to let me rely on His words to live out the likeness of man.
I recalled the past when I got this disease and the doctor didn’t know how to cure it. It was God’s almighty hand that protected me and cared for me and allowed me to get better. When I lived in my sickness and foisted my misgivings and complaints upon God, God didn’t abandon me because of my rebelliousness. Instead, He sympathized with my weakness, and used His words to guide and enlighten me at all times so that I could understand His will and have faith to face such an environment. I have obtained abundant provision and enjoyed too much grace and blessing from God. God’s love is too great! Small as is my stature, I am willing to entrust myself to God’s hands, pursue the truth properly and perform my duty as a creature of God to repay God’s love in the future path of life.
The End.
