By Wang Hui
At first, I resolved to get into a provincial key high school.
This year, I took the high school entrance examination, which is usually considered one of the most important tests that any Chinese student can take. Before the exam, our head teacher encouraged us in almost every class meeting, “As long as you test into a provincial key high school, you’re half way to entering the university, which means a bright future is around the corner.” Our principal also constantly exhorted us, “In a society where education is so highly prized, learning knowledge is the only way by which one can change one’s fate. You’re all the children born in a poor backward mountain village. Are you really willing to spend the rest of your life here as Mr. or Mrs. Average? If you want to change your fate through knowledge, study hard from now on. Let knowledge become the force driving your progress.” At home, my parents often told me, “All we ask is that you focus on your study and get into a key high school. Your only mission now is to prepare for the exam. We’ll take care of the rest.” To live up to the expectations of my teachers and parents, I often encouraged myself, “I must test into a key high school. Only this way can I have a promising future, climbing out of poverty and leading an aristocratic lifestyle.”
To this end, I exerted myself studying, not daring to slack off for a single moment. Every day, I immersed myself in my books deep into the night, and got up before the dawn to revise; during the lunch break, I still buried myself in the books, and sometimes even forgot to have the meal. All my hard work was just for that test, the test which, I believed, could determine the course of my life.
The failure in high school entrance examination threw me into great pain.
From after the exam finished till the publication of the results, I’d been edgy every day. Finally, the big day came. That morning, I’d been sitting before the computer after breakfast, waiting for the publication of the results. At precisely 8 o’clock, I logged in to check my score. Upon seeing my grades, I was kind of stunned. “How come my scores are so poor?” Not believing what I’d just seen, I rubbed my eyes and took a careful look at the screen again. The results were no different than what I’d just seen. “How could this happen?” I was quite confused. “I’ve paid so much effort. Why was my hard work being repaid with such a result? Doesn’t this mean that I couldn’t get into a key high school? Then do I still have a future?” For a moment, sadness, helplessness and misery all welled up in my heart.
When I was overwhelmed by pain, my mother came back from work. Full of expectation, she asked me, “Have the results been released? Did you do well?” Not knowing how to face her, I lowered my head and said in a low voice, “Actually, I did very badly.” Upon seeing the results, my mother pulled a long face, and questioned me angrily, “Can you explain this to me? Didn’t you say that you’d done well after the exam? Is this the ‘well’ you were talking about? You can’t even get into a key high school with such grades. What could I expect from you?” So saying, she stormed out in disappointment. Aggrieved and annoyed, I slumped onto the bed. My mother’s words echoing in my mind, I couldn’t help shedding tears bitterly.
I understood the source of my misery from God’s words.
At a meeting, at the sight of my swollen eyes, a sister solicitously asked me what had happened. After knowing my problem, she comforted me, saying, “I can understand that you’re grieving for the failure in the exam. But we are believers in God, so we should view things in accordance with God’s words, find the root cause of our misery and solve our problems with the truth. Only this way can we walk out of pain. Sister, let’s first think about these questions—Can knowledge really change our fate? Who exactly controls our fate? In fact, God has explained these questions clearly in His words. Let’s have a look at what God’s words say.” Then she opened up the book of the word of God and began to read: “What occupation one chooses, how one makes a living: do people have any control over whether they make a good choice or a bad choice in these things? Do these things accord with people’s desires and decisions? Most people have the following wishes: to work less and earn more, not to toil in the sun and rain, to dress well, to glow and shine everywhere, to tower above others, and to bring honor to their ancestors. People hope for perfection, but when they take their first steps in the journey of their lives, they gradually come to realize how imperfect human destiny is, and for the first time they truly grasp the fact that, though one can make bold plans for one’s future and though one may harbor audacious fantasies, no one has the ability or the power to realize their own dreams, and no one is in a position to control their own future. There will always be some distance between one’s dreams and the realities that one must confront; things are never as one would like them to be, and faced with such realities, people can never achieve satisfaction or contentment. Some people will go to any length imaginable, will put forth great efforts and make great sacrifices for the sake of their livelihoods and future, in an attempt to change their own fate. But in the end, even if they can realize their dreams and desires by means of their own hard work, they can never change their fates, and no matter how doggedly they try, they can never exceed what destiny has allotted them. Regardless of differences in ability, intelligence, and willpower, people are all equal before fate, which does not distinguish between the great and the small, the high and the low, the exalted and the mean. What occupation one pursues, what one does for a living, and how much wealth one amasses in life are not decided by one’s parents, one’s talents, one’s efforts or one’s ambitions, but are predetermined by the Creator.”
After reading God’s words, the sister fellowshiped, “From God’s words, we can understand that how our future will be, what occupation we pursue, whether our life is rich or poor, whether we are great or small, high or low—these can’t be changed by knowledge or human effort, but are based on God’s rule and preordination. In real life, we can see there are many people who are not very well educated but have a stable footing in society relying on a special skill, like those who do business or run a restaurant. Even though they don’t have a high level of education, they make money in business and can support themselves. In contrast, some people, though graduating from a famous university, can’t find a suitable job. Aren’t there many cases like this? From this we can see that knowledge can’t change our fate. Actually our fate is controlled in God’s hands and what He has arranged is the most suitable for us. We study hard, hoping to get into a good school and have a bright future. Our wish is beautiful, but whether we can fulfill it, how our academic achievements will be, and what occupation we will pursue are not decided by us. Because we didn’t understand the truth that our fate is controlled in God’s hands, when we didn’t do well in the exam, we became distressed, pessimistic and disappointed; we couldn’t accept the fact, much less obey God’s sovereignty and arrangement. As created beings, only if we have knowledge about God’s sovereignty, accept the fate that God has arranged for us, and submit to His dominion, can we break free from Satan’s harm and emerge from pain.”
Listening to the sister’s fellowship, I stopped crying. Pondering God’s words, I thought: “It is true. In my view, testing into a provincial key high school was the first step in changing my fate. So when I learned that I didn’t do well in the exam, the first thing I thought of was that I had no future and could never reverse my fate. This is why I lived in pain. Now I understand how my future prospect will be is actually controlled and arranged by God and can’t be changed by knowledge. I was so blind and ignorant!”
Later, I read some other words of God: “Satan corrupts people through the education and influence of national governments and of the famous and great. Their devilish words have become man’s life nature. ‘Everyone for himself and the devil take the hindmost’ is a well-known satanic saying that has been instilled into everyone, and that has become man’s life. There are other words of philosophies for living that are also like this. Satan uses each nation’s fine traditional culture to educate people, causing mankind to fall into and be engulfed by a boundless abyss of destruction, and in the end people are destroyed by God because they serve Satan and resist God.” “What is the cause of this pain? Is it because of God’s sovereignty, or because a person was born unlucky? Obviously, neither is true. At bottom, it is caused by the paths people take, the ways they choose to live their lives. Some people may not have realized these things. But when you truly know, when you truly come to recognize that God has sovereignty over human fate, when you truly understand that everything God has planned for you and decided for you is a great benefit and protection, then you feel your pain begin to lighten, and your whole being becomes relaxed, free, liberated.”
From God’s words, I came to realize that Satan corrupts us through the influence of the national governments and the thoughts and opinions of the famous and great. By using school education, exhortation of the teachers and teachings of our parents, it makes us unwittingly accept the viewpoints like “Knowledge can change one’s fate,” “Those who toil with their minds govern others, and those who toil with their hands are governed by others,” and even regard them as our life mottos. As a result, we do not recognize God’s sovereignty, but always want to rely on knowledge and our own efforts to change our fate. As long as we fail to achieve this goal, we would feel our future is dark and gloomy, and thus become distressed and pessimistic, torturing ourselves. Dominated by the satanic poison, “Knowledge can change one’s fate,” when I failed the high school entrance examination, I thought I had no future to speak of and that my life was over, thus living in pain. Now I finally understood these Satan’s ideas and viewpoints are actually negative things, which could only bring us bondage and affliction.
Nowadays, there are many people who are deeply harmed by these poisons. My cousin is just an example. In the hope of changing his fate through knowledge, he’d been studying hard since childhood. When applying to a postgraduate school, he passed the written exam but failed in the interview. Overwhelmed by despair and indignation, he had a stroke. My classmate’s elder brother is another example. Though graduating from a famous university, he had suffered a lot of setbacks before getting a job, only to find his superior, who earns twice as much money as he, hasn’t even finished elementary school. From their experiences we can see that our fate truly can’t be changed by knowledge, but is dictated and arranged by God. So the wise choice is to give ourselves into God’s hands and obey His sovereignty. Having realized this, I felt liberated in my heart. If God hadn’t arranged for the sister to fellowship the truth with me, I would still immerse myself in pain, not knowing how to walk the way ahead. I sincerely offered thanks to God for His protection for me.
I felt released in spirit after understanding God’s will.
Through this experience, I understood this: Knowledge can never change one’s fate; our fate is actually controlled by the hand of God. What I should do is entrust my future to God, accept and obey His sovereignty and arrangement. God has a suitable plan for me, which, I believe, is the most beneficial to me. Now I’ve had a correct viewpoint on knowledge and found the right way of practice, no longer trying to change my fate through knowledge. From now on, I’m willing to straighten out my state of mind, studying diligently at usual times and doing what I can when taking the exams. As for the results, I’m willing to obey the will of God. Just as God’s words say: “If one has a positive attitude toward God’s sovereignty over human fate, then when one looks back upon one’s journey, when one truly comes to grips with God’s sovereignty, one will more earnestly desire to submit to everything that God has arranged, will have more determination and confidence to let God orchestrate one’s fate and to stop rebelling against God. For one sees that when one does not comprehend fate, when one does not understand God’s sovereignty, when one gropes their way forward willfully, staggering and tottering through the fog, the journey is too difficult, too heartbreaking. So when people recognize God’s sovereignty over human fate, the clever ones choose to know it and accept it, to bid farewell to the painful days when they tried to build a good life with their own two hands, and to stop struggling against fate and pursuing their so-called ‘life goals’ in their own way. When one does not have God, when one cannot see Him, when one cannot clearly recognize God’s sovereignty, every day is meaningless, worthless, miserable. Wherever one is, whatever one’s job is, one’s means of living and the pursuit of one’s goals bring one nothing but endless heartbreak and suffering without relief, such that one cannot bear to look back on one’s past. Only when one accepts the Creator’s sovereignty, submits to His orchestrations and arrangements, and seeks true human life will one gradually begin to break free from all heartbreak and suffering, and to be rid of all the emptiness of life.” After I understood this, the depression and pain in my heart eased a lot, and I came to know what I should do in the future.
Later, through reading God’s words and living the church life, I gradually stepped out of the shadow of failure, no longer living in pain. After seeing clearly that the viewpoint “Knowledge can change one’s fate” is actually a method by which Satan afflicted me, I didn’t want to continue to be harmed by it, but was willing to obey God’s sovereignty and arrangements and let God take charge of my life. When I practiced in this way, I saw God’s wondrous deeds. My parents no longer blamed me but comforted me, asking me not to put too much pressure on myself but to let nature take its course, which, I knew, was the result achieved by God’s work. All the glory be to God!
