By Xinsheng
On First Receiving the Gospel, I Was Dubious About God’s Existence
One day in October, 2016, my mother and several sisters from the church came to spread the gospel to me. They said that the heavens and earth and all things were created by God and that human fate is in God’s hands. … I did not exactly approve of their words because I held the notion that one’s fate was in his own hands. But out of respect for my mother’s feelings, I still sat down and listened to their fellowship.In the following more than half a year, a few sisters from the church came and patiently shared God’s word with me. With the passage of time, I found that they were pretty good. Their words and actions were very decent, and they were very loving toward others, different from the worldly people who were abusive, haughty, and schemed against each other. Their living out started to move me little by little and I got to absorb some of God’s word they communicated to me; yet I was still dubious about God’s existence, and felt that attending gatherings was bothersome. Every day, I had a load of household chores to do. Besides, I had to take care of my two children and take charge of my remedial classes. Every day I was utterly exhausted from these things and even if I had any spare time, I would always want to have a rest. For these reasons, I was unwilling to spend my time and energy believing in God, but only verbally believed in Him; I seldom attended gatherings or read God’s word.
My One-Year-Old Child’s Life Was in Dire Danger
On January 11, 2018, the first snow of the year fell and it was surprisingly heavy. Early this morning, I pushed open the door and saw that outside it was all white and the snow was ten to twenty centimeters deep. Just as I was about to go shopping, my fourteen-month-old son Xiaobao, who was eating peanuts, pestered me to hug him. Seeing that I refused to do that, he lost his temper at once: tilting his head back and throwing a tantrum in tears. But suddenly, he stopped crying, which flustered me a great deal. At the sight of the broken bits of peanuts in his mouth, I realized he was choking on the peanuts. He had turned red in the face, unable to cry. So, I hurried to pat his back and press his stomach, but it didn’t work. His mouth and face had begun to become black and blue. Therefore, I hurried to reach into his throat to see whether I could pick the peanuts from it, but it didn’t work either. Seeing he was not going to make it, I felt only too anxious and scared to let out a scream and then started crying. In panic, I suddenly thought of God, and I cried out to God for help in a hurry, “Oh God! Please save my child. He’s not gonna make it.” As I cried, I patted his back. At this time, my husband was also so nervous and scared that he began to cry and hastened to call an ambulance.
I continuously called to God in my heart as I cried, yet my child showed no sign of taking a turn for the better; his body was limp and his teeth were clenched. Afraid that he would probably bite his tongue, I hastened to put my finger between his teeth. At that time, some neighbors came to see what had happened but could do nothing to help us. Seeing my son’s condition, the heavy snow outside, and the slippery road, I started to despair, feeling as though a knife were twisting in my heart. I was shaking all over, crying loudly and shouting again and again, “Xiaobao, don’t scare me. Please get better.”
My Child Was in Critical Condition, Yet Nothing Could Be Done
A short while later, a neighbor drove up. My husband and I hurried to take our son into the car. The neighbor dared not drive too fast on account of the thick snow on the road. All the way to the hospital, my child’s jaws were tightly locked, and I kept my finger between his teeth. Even though he bit my finger and blood ran down it, I still dared not take it out of his mouth, and could only continuously pray to God in my heart. Afterward, his face seemed no longer blue, but his condition had not improved yet. After having a hard time getting to downtown, we got on an ambulance. However, facing my child’s condition, the ambulance doctors could do nothing but watch it getting worse and worse.
After reaching the hospital, my child was taken into the emergency room and I thought he could be safe now. But unexpectedly, after some ten minutes, the doctor told us that the condition of my child was very serious, and that they could do nothing about it. They advised that we move him to the city hospital. This news hit me like thunder from a clear sky: It’s two hours’ drive from here to the city hospital. Plus, it’s still snowing and there might be some delay on the way. Is my child, already in such a dangerous and critical condition, gonna make it that long? Seeing he lay still on the operation table in the emergency room with only his throat moving with difficulty, I fell apart at once, and then leaned over the bench beside the door, I burst out crying. How I wished to bear this torture on behalf of him! But at this point, I felt I was so small that I was unable to do anything about it; I could not suffer on behalf of him, much less save him, nor could the doctor. All I could do was pray to God continuously in my heart, “God! You are almighty. May You save this poor child. He is just over one year old. …”
Meeting With Failures on the Way to the City Hospital
Afterward, the hospital urged that we should hasten to take our child to the city hospital even though they refused to run us there in the ambulance, so we were obliged to search for a private van. When we found one, we immediately got in and told the driver to go hell for leather to the city hospital. Since it was difficult to drive on a snowy road, I dared not ask him to drive faster and all I could do was pray to God continuously in my heart as I cried. On the way, although my child kept clenching his teeth, his eyes stayed open and his eyeballs motionless, except that his face was no longer blue. Sitting beside him, I really dared not look at his face and I also could not bear to see him. Every second seemed so long and they kept me in suspense.
My child’s condition was worsening but yet we were not even halfway to the city hospital. When I felt close to despair, I remembered that when Job encountered trials and lost all his children, he did not blame God, but instead, he said, “The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD” (Job 1:21). I then thought about myself. When seeing my child’s condition, I lived in timidity and fear. Did I have any faith in God? From Job’s experience, I understood that my child was given by God. Then I prayed, “O God! My child’s life is in Your hands. Regardless of whether You will take him away or not, I will accept Your arrangement without complaint, for he was given to me by You.”
On the way, my husband had been calling to contact the city hospital and an ambulance, but either nobody answered our phone or people who answered asked us to dial other numbers, which was absolutely wasting our time. Seeing we were so pitiful, the driver gave us the telephone number of a head of the Otorhinolaryngology Department in the Central Hospital and told us that he had once driven such patients like Xiaobao there directly. After we got through to the head of the department, he said we need send our child there as soon as possible and that they would set about preparing for the operation at once. Then the driver called us an ambulance. Once it came, we hurriedly transferred to it.
I did not know whether it was because of much toing and froing or because my child really could not hold on any longer that he began to froth at the mouth. The ambulance workers said that he was having convulsions and was dying, so they advised us to send him to the nearest hospital to prevent his condition from getting worse first. At this time, I began to wail with anxiety, not knowing what to do, while my husband insisted that our child should be sent to the Central Hospital. Then the sirens went off and we were brought there finally. When my husband put our child on the operating table, the doctor said, “I’m afraid your child is not going to make it, but we will try by all means to save him.” Hearing this, both my husband and I burst into tears. The seconds ticked by as we waited outside the operating room. I felt conflicted inside: I hoped to know the condition of my child as early as possible, but in the meantime, I was afraid to find out, anxious that it would be bad news …
Having Faith in the True God, I Saw a Change in My Son’s Condition
Several minutes later, the doctor came out of the operating room, and said, “Although we have already removed the peanuts from your child’s body, the prolonged oxygen starvation will certainly cause some injury to his brain and heart. The likelihood is that he will be brain dead or die of heart failure. So, you must prepare yourselves for it.” Hearing the doctor’s words, I, who held on to a bit of hope a moment ago, immediately cracked up. At this moment, I thought of a similar experience a sister once told me and also of what God’s word says, “Any and all things, living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear according to God’s thoughts.” Then I prayed, “O God! Everything is in Your hands, and the doctor is also in Your hands. What he says doesn’t count, only what You say counts. Today, whether my child will make it or whether he will be as healthy as before is all decided by You.”
Not long after, my child’s operation ended and he was kept under observation in the ward. The doctor said, “Now your child hasn’t awakened yet. When he awakes, observe whether or not he will cry. If he cries, it shows that his condition is not that serious.” More than an hour passed by, my child awoke at last and looked quite weak. Although he didn’t cry, he first looked around after opening his eyes, seeming wide-awake. When I softly called his name, he reacted and also knew to reach out for something. When I asked him whether he would like to drink some water, he knew to shake his head. Seeing this, my heart was ultimately a bit released. I really thanked God and could not hold back tears of excitement. Shortly after, he began to cry and I was finally relieved.
Appreciating God’s Almightiness and Knowing His Sovereignty
The doctor asked me how long my child had choked on the peanuts. After settling down and thinking it over, I told the doctor that it lasted for almost five hours, from when my child started choking on the peanuts to when he was delivered from danger. This doctor told me that my child had had peanuts stuck in both his lungs, with half a peanut stuck in one lung and a little smaller half in the other lung. He said, “Without oxygen, an adult can keep alive for ten minutes at most and a child for six minutes. Having been in such a critical condition for so long, your child actually made it. What a lucky child he is!”
In the next couple of days, my child made a good recovery. The nurse who put my child on a drip said, “Every year, we will take on some children who, like Xiaobao, had foreign bodies stuck in their windpipe. And there will always be several of them who fail to be saved. Previously, a one-year-old child who lived in the city choked on sausage. It took his family only about five minutes to bring him here; yet when they arrived he had already died.” She also said that it was really rare to meet someone like Xiaobao who was in serious condition yet had made such a good recovery. While my child was in hospital, people kept coming to see him. As his condition was extremely critical and serious when we just came to the hospital, almost all the doctors and patients on the same floor knew about this. They were all surprised that my child was saved and said he was really lucky. Each time I heard them say that, I would offer my thanks to God in my heart because I knew that all this was due to His care and protection.
After being kept under observation for a few days, my child was still rather weak and walked unsteadily. The day before he was discharged from the hospital, seeing that he wavered when walking I felt worried again. I asked the doctor, “Is his tottering a result of being too weak or his sense of balance being affected?” The doctor said, “The CT scan shows that his brain is more or less unaffected and is normal. But it’s still hard to say. Chances are that the prolonged oxygen starvation has resulted in a minor injury to his brain, and the injury is too minor to notice from the CT scan.” The doctor’s words made me more anxious: What if the injury has left its mark and my child will walk unsteadily? Because of this matter, I lost sleep and appetite, and I continuously prayed to God that He can protect my child. On the third day after leaving the hospital, he finally walked as steadily as before. This caused my heart to be entirely released. Thanks be to God! It was Almighty God who gave Xiaobao a second life. All of this was God’s great love!
Making up My Mind to Follow the True God
Replaying in my mind what had happened in these past few days, I was overwhelmed with emotion: As the saying goes, “Accidents happen, life is unpredictable.” No one knows what will happen in the next breath, nor can one foresee it. Had I not believed in God and come before Him, I really did not know what would have happened to my child, and it would also be impossible for my family to have slept so well as now. Thank God for His watching and protecting Xiaobao. He has saved not only Xiaobao’s life, but the whole of my family. I recalled that during this period of time, I had always busied myself doing housework and looking after my two children, as well as going to work. So, I seldom read God’s word ordinarily, I disliked praying and attending gatherings, I had never considered my belief in God to be the greatest thing, and sometimes I even had my doubts about God’s existence. I was really too corrupt and rebellious. But God ignored how I disobeyed Him and still protected and kept Xiaobao at the critical moment, so that Xiaobao could escape from danger. God’s love is really too great. This experience made me truly feel that God was with me and truly see His wondrousness and almightiness, and moreover, strengthened my resolve to believe in Him. From now on, I will believe earnestly in God and do my duty well to repay His love!
Once during a gathering, after hearing me relate to this dangerous accident, brothers and sisters all thanked God for His wondrous protection. Then a sister read to me a passage from God’s word, “God created this world and brought man, a living being unto which He bestowed life, into it. In turn, man came to have parents and kin and was no longer alone. Ever since man first laid eyes on this material world, he was destined to exist within the ordination of God. It is the breath of life from God that supports each living being throughout his growth into adulthood. During this process, none believe that man lives and grows up under the care of God. Rather, they hold that man grows up under the love and care of his parents, and that his growth is governed by the instinct of life. This is because man knows not who bestowed life or from whence it came, much less how the instinct of life creates miracles.”
She went on to say, “All of the heavens and earth and all things were made by God. Our lives are given to us by God, so are those of our children. Although God arranges for parents to take care of their children, yet in reality, children all grow up under God’s care. It is God that rules over their fates; their health, their lives and deaths, their fortunes and misfortunes are all not in the hands of their parents. But, being arrogant and blind to God, we humans often say, ‘One’s destiny is in his own hand.’ Are we not too unreasonable? This experience of yours allows us to know these aspects of the truth like God is the source of human life and human fate is controlled by His hands, and to confirm from within our heart that God’s word is true and trustworthy.”
After hearing her fellowship, I recalled that in the past, in my belief in God, I merely acknowledged that God rules over our fates in word, without confirming it from within my heart. Although the sister had read this passage of God’s word to me before, I did not take it seriously. It was only through this experience that I truly inferred its deep implications. When my child was in a crisis, both the doctors and I were unable to save him. But when I truly looked to God and relied on Him in despair, I saw His wondrous deeds. It is God who allowed my child to escape from danger and gave him a second life. This made me truly feel that God is our sole reliance. Thereupon, I made up my mind to follow God and was willing to walk the path of believing in God and following God, to seek the truth, and to do my duty well to repay His love!
Later, I actively took on hosting duties. Having seen God’s great power and wondrous deeds, both my husband and my mother-in-law support my belief in God. I thank and praise God from the bottom of my heart. All the glory be to Almighty God!
