By Xinzhi
When I was young, my family was poor. My mother had mental illness, so the heavy burden of my family fell upon my father alone. He had traveled many places to seek a cure for my mother’s illness but to no avail. At that time I thought: I must study hard to be a doctor when I grow up. As science is making increasing progress, my mother’s illness can surely be cured in the future. However, it never occurred to me that not only did my mother not get cured, but my sister was also diagnosed with Hepatitis B, which, the doctor said, was an infectious disease and could cause various systemic diseases, even death. In more than one year of her hospitalization, her condition was getting worse and worse. Seeing this, I could do nothing but steal away to cry in private and say in my heart: Sister, hold on for another two years. You are sure to be cured! For science is developing so fast and the wonder drug for your disease can surely be developed. Your younger brother and I can’t live without you…. But she still left us, and my brother and I cried bitterly for her.
Later, I often felt weak and feeble, and had a temperature at a regular time every day, so I went to the hospital for an examination. The doctor told me that I had developed Hepatitis B, which was transmitted from my sister. At this bad news, my mind went blank. I had no idea how I walked home with the test sheet in my hand. After entering the room, I slumped into the sofa, weeping uncontrollably. Seeing this, my husband asked anxiously, “What’s the result? Is it serious?” “It’s Hepatitis B, the same as our sister’s,” I replied weakly in tears. “What if you and our kid are also infected?” I broke down and wailed after saying this. He said as he wiped my tears, “Don’t worry, my dear. We’ll try to find a cure for it. Hasn’t the Hepatitis B vaccine already been developed? Our kid and I can have a vaccination against it. Anyhow, we must try our best to cure it!” Hearing his words, I was a bit comforted.
One day my husband came home from work and said to me excitedly, “Good news! Another new kind of medicine has been developed. It’s said that two boxes of it can guarantee a cure. I have bought two boxes with the help of a friend. Take it and see whether it’s efficient.” I was so happy to hear that, thinking: Science today is so advanced; there must be some medicine that can cure my illness. With the two boxes of medicine taken, I went for a check-up in a hospital, only to find that it didn’t take any effect on me. I thought, “Why can’t the medicine newly developed by scientists cure my illness?” Tormented by the illness, as long as I heard of a type of newly developed medicine or any that could cure me, I would rush to buy it. After a long time of doing this, even I myself couldn’t remember how many kinds of medicine I had taken. Right then, two of my cousins got Hepatitis B, and died off afterward. Their death hit me hard and I began to fear that I would also die one day. Every time I thought of this, I would shed bitter tears. Hardly could I imagine what would become of my kid if I died.
Several years later, more and more illnesses attacked me: bone deformation resulting from rheumatism, dim sight, stiffness of legs and feet joints, and lags in response. And consequent complications, such as heart disease, diabetes, gasteremphraxis, fatty liver, and cholecystitis, all set in successively. I became so weak that even a few quick steps would make me breathe heavily. And I often caught a cold. The doctor said my immunity had decreased due to regular medication, and thus various complications were induced…. I dared not take that much medicine from then on. Right at that time, someone introduced health products to me, and I, eager to get cured, spent all my money on various health products and tonics, hoping to improve my immunity through these high-tech products. But after a period of time, they didn’t take effect, and even caused great harm to my stomach—it would ache if I ate, so that I could only drink millet gruel every day. After I had experienced that medicine and health products didn’t work on me, I began to watch TV programs and read books about scientific regimen. But after a while, my health was declining. I could do nothing but stay like a useless person. I was upset every day and sank into extreme distress. I often wondered: Science today is so advanced; isn’t there any cure for my diseases? I’m still so young; do I have to wait for death helplessly?
Right when I was cornered, God’s kingdom gospel came upon me. I accepted it and regularly attended meetings and read God’s words with brothers and sisters. During one meeting, after a sister had learned my condition, she read me two passages of God’s words: “What is the source of the lifelong suffering from birth, death, illness, and old age that humans endure? What caused people to have these things? Humans did not have them when they were first created, did they? Where, then, did these things come from? They came into being after humans were tempted by Satan and their flesh became degenerate. The pain of human flesh, its afflictions, and its emptiness, as well as the extremely miserable affairs of the human world, only came once Satan had corrupted mankind. After humans were corrupted by Satan, it began to torment them. As a result, they became more and more degenerate. The diseases of humanity grew more and more acute, and their suffering became more and more severe” (“The Significance of God’s Tasting of Worldly Suffering” in Records of Christ’s Talks). “Almighty God, the Head of all things, wields His kingly power from His throne. He rules over the universe and all things, and He is in the act of guiding us on the whole earth. … Praise God in the midst of illness and enjoy God in the midst of your praise. Do not lose heart in the face of illness, keep seeking again and again and do not give up, and God will illuminate you with His light. How was Job’s faith? Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. So long as you still have one breath, God will not let you die. ”
“We have within us the resurrected life of Christ. Undeniably, we lack faith in the presence of God: Would that God would put true faith within us. … Faith is like a single log bridge: Those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over, sure of foot and worry-free” (“Chapter 6” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Then she fellowshiped with me, “From God’s words, we can see that when man was created in the beginning, they didn’t have the suffering of illness. It was only after man’s ancestors committed sins under the temptation of Satan that man began to experience birth, aging, sickness, and death. And as man became more and more corrupt, man’s illnesses were deepened, and even kinds of strange diseases have occurred in recent years. So, all the illnesses we have come from Satan’s affliction. Nevertheless, God’s words tell us: It is God who rules over all things in the entire universe; although Satan can corrupt man, it cannot control man’s life and death. Take when Job was tempted by Satan, for example: Though his body was covered in boils, God didn’t permit Satan to take his life and it dared not overstep the mark. In the midst of his illness, Job still held onto his faith in God, and he didn’t complain to God but praised His name. In the end, God made Job emerge from his troubles and doubly blessed him. Sister, God has pointed out a path for us—have faith in God as Job, truly rely on Him, commit our illnesses into God’s hands, and let Him dominate and arrange them.” After her fellowship, I finally realized that all my illnesses arose from Satan’s affliction. So I said, “Sister, I understand what you have fellowshiped. It is Satan that has been afflicting me. What should I do now?” Then she fellowshiped much in detail about my problem. She told me to read more of God’s words, taught me how to pray to and rely on God when in difficulties, and told me not to demand God with my own motivations but to only obey His sovereignty and arrangements. Thereafter, I read God’s words every day and attended meetings on time, which especially enriched my daily life. My secret worries were much lightened and my heart was also much liberated.
Before long, the church arranged for me to take on hosting duties. I was glad to hear that and agreed without hesitation. When I first took on the duty, I even had difficulty taking vegetables upstairs. Somehow, after a period of time, my health gradually improved. I became vigorous, and it was easier for me to do the household chores than before. The steady improvement in my condition also delighted my husband and my kid. Later, I had myself examined in a hospital and the doctor told me that my Hepatitis B was gone. I could hardly believe it, so I had a second examination in another big hospital. But the result was the same. The doctor there said, “Judging by the test result, your body has produced the antibody and you won’t be infected with Hepatitis B anymore even if you contact the virus.” At the doctor’s words, I was wild with joy and lost for words. I never thought that my Hepatitis B, which hadn’t been cured by every possible means, should be cured in such a miraculous way. I couldn’t help praising God from the bottom of my heart: God, it’s You who has pitied and cured me. It’s You who has freed me from the torment of the illness. Many thanks be to You!
One day, I read the following words of God: “Since mankind’s contrivance of the social sciences, the mind of man has become occupied by science and knowledge. Science and knowledge then have become tools for the ruling of mankind, and there is no longer sufficient room for man to worship God, and no more favorable conditions for the worship of God. The position of God has sunk ever lower in the heart of man. Without God in his heart, man’s inner world is dark, hopeless and empty” (“God Presides Over the Fate of All Mankind” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). I suddenly saw the light. In the past, I used to believe that highly developed science and technology were able to solve all man’s difficulties. When I fell ill, I thought that science would develop effective medicine which could definitely cure my illness. Consequently, when I heard there were newly produced drugs, I rushed to buy them, when I heard that health products were good, I bought them without delay, and when I heard of scientific regimen on TV, I studied it immediately. In the end, a great deal of money and effort had been wasted, and my condition got worse and worse—I just awaited death. Through God’s words and my own experiences, I was completely clear that science is not the truth, much less can it save man. Because of my blind faith in science, I strayed ever further from God and lived more painfully and helplessly. Later I read these words of God: “Whenever Satan corrupts man or inflicts unbridled harm upon man, God does not stand idly by, and neither does He brush aside or turn a blind eye to those He has chosen. … As people grow up, Satan’s gaze is fixed on every one of them, like a tiger eyeing its prey. But in doing His work, God has never been subject to any limitations arising from people, events or things, of space or time; He does what He should and what He must. In the process of growing up, you may encounter many things that are not to your liking, such as illness and frustration. But as you walk this path, your life and your future are strictly under God’s care. God gives you a genuine guarantee to last all your life, for He is right there beside you, guarding you and looking after you” (“God Himself, the Unique VI” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Only then did I understand that God has been right there beside me ever since I was born. I had suffered from serious diseases, but God didn’t allow Satan to take me captive. My illness is in God’s hands, so is my life. Satan had covetously eyed me and afflicted me with illness, but without the permission of God, death would not come upon me. It is God who has been guarding and keeping me all the time. With gratitude, I went before God and prayed, “God, it’s Your great love that has saved me! When Satan used science to afflict and deceive me, I tasted the bitter fruit of believing in science. But when I struggled hard on the edge of death, it was Your loving hand that led me to return before You, and Your words gave me confidence and power. What was more unexpected was that You had removed my illness before I knew it. How wondrous and almighty You are! Thanks be to You for Your great love and mercy for me. May all the glory be to God!”
