I’m very short. From my childhood, I felt inferior because of my physical defect, and I complained against my mother why she did not take plentiful nutrition when she carried me in her womb, and why my family was so poor that I couldn’t eat and drink enough meat, eggs, and milk during the very time of my physical growth in my middle school…. I always mocked myself with “dwarf.” I envied very much the girls on TV who were tall and thin and wore long coats, and I desired to be that kind of person even in my dreams. At middle school, it was once popular to wear height increasing insoles and it was said that one might gradually grow tall in them, so I nagged at my father to buy me a pair. During college, I once went into hospital due to a fracture. I heard from doctors that if one’s shins were cut open and added into a certain material and were pressed every day, a period of time later the bones would grow and the leg length would increase. Though I knew it must be very painful, I had interest in it. If I were rich at that time, I would very likely choose to have that operation. Being short was a pain to me all along. Whenever I was in some certain circumstance, my inferiority would come out. I wanted to cry and run away, but I couldn’t change reality and could do nothing with it. Later, a word in the show by Pan Changjiang gave me some sunshine, which was that classic word, “The concentrate is the essence.” From then on, sometimes in front of others I would say in forced confidence, “Although I’m short, I’m the concentrated essence….” But that was just bitter laughter and self-mockery. After the laugher, my heart remained bitter. …
Not until God’s end-time gospel came upon me and I read the truths Almighty God expresses did my heart truly begin to become bright. God’s word says, “Since the creation of the world, I have predestined and chosen this group of people, that is, you of today. Your disposition, qualities, appearance, and stature, the family you were born into, and your job and marriage, your everything, even the color of your hair, the color of your skin, and the time of your birth, are all arranged by My hand. Even what you will do and what kind of people you will meet every day are also arranged by My hand. How much more is it arranged by Me that you have been brought before Me today. Do not disturb yourself but go forward unperturbedly.” (from The Word Appears in the Flesh) From God’s words, I understood that my hair color, skin color, appearance, of course including my height, all these have long been predestined. I feel as if God is comforting me with His words and asking me not to live in opposition to the fate, not to disturb myself, but to go forward unperturbedly. A word in the hymn of God’s word “To Obey God’s Every Arrangement Is a Wise Person” gave me strength: “Walk the way you should walk. Do not care what others say. Do not consider so much. Are future and fate in your hand?” Yes. God rules over my fate and my everything, and He has arranged everything properly for me. I should just obey God’s sovereignty and arrangement, and only doing so is after God’s heart. Could I rebel against God’s predestination? Later, my anxiety decreased little by little, but in the depth of my heart I did not drop it completely.
Later, when I read the truths Almighty God expresses concerning God’s authority, my inferiority was truly changed to positivity and gratitude from negativity and helplessness. Almighty God says, “In the Creator’s eyes, the place one is born, one’s gender, one’s physical appearance, are all temporary things. They are a series of miniscule jots, tiny symbols in each phase of His management of the whole mankind. And a person’s real destination and ending are not determined by his or her birth in any particular phase, but by the mission that he or she fulfills in every life, by the Creator’s judgment upon them when His management plan is complete.” “A person who truly knows and experiences the Creator’s sovereignty should be in an active, not passive or helpless state. While at the same time accepting that all things are fated, he or she should possess an accurate definition of life and fate: that every life is subject to the Creator’s sovereignty. When one looks back upon the road one has walked, when one recollects every phase of one’s journey, one sees that at every step, whether one’s road was arduous or smooth, God was guiding one’s path, planning it out. It was God’s meticulous arrangements, His careful planning, that led one, unknowingly, to today. To be able to accept the Creator’s sovereignty, to receive His salvation—what great fortune that is! If a person’s attitude toward fate is passive, it proves that he or she is resisting everything that God has arranged for him or her, that he or she does not have a submissive attitude. If one’s attitude toward God’s sovereignty over human fate is active, then when one looks back upon one’s journey, when one truly comes to grips with God’s sovereignty, one will more earnestly desire to submit to everything that God has arranged, will have more of the determination and confidence to let God orchestrate one’s fate, to stop rebelling against God.” (from Continuation of The Word Appears in the Flesh) From these two passages of Almighty God’s words, I understood that in the eyes of the Creator, God gives every one of us our own look and gender merely as small signs and symbols during a certain period in God’s management plan. Whether one looks beautiful or ugly, is male or female, short or tall, fat or thin, it doesn’t determine whether his future fate is good or bad. God decides our outcome according to whether each of us created beings, in His management plan, lives out the real human likeness according to His words and whether we can truly glorify and testify for Him. God values these, instead of our appearances. In recent years, I have seen the evil and darkness of the world. As a matter of fact, my plain features and height are indeed God’s greatest protection to me. If I had the face and figure like a star’s, I would have long fallen into the world’s evil trend, unable to get free of it, and even worse, I might have long been devoured by unclean spirits and evil spirits. From the heart, I have had a genuine gratitude for God’s predestination and sovereignty. Behind everything that comes upon me, there is God’s thoughtful intention; it’s simply that I don’t understand God’s will. Although I’m short, God doesn’t dislike me for it but instead gives me the opportunity to believe in Him and know Him. After coming to the family of Almighty God, I have truly felt the authority and power of His word and have also had some true seeing of God’s righteousness, holiness, mercy, and love. I have been certain that Almighty God’s end-time work is indeed a stage of new work the Lord Jesus does when He comes back. I have gained so much from God.
Now, I am no longer negative or feel bad because of my height. I often think of that word of God, “For it is good with God, and so what reason does man have to find fault?” (from Continuation of The Word Appears in the Flesh) and can positively face everything God gives me. Thank Almighty God for His sovereignty and salvation to me!
